My Personal Rant

The things on my mind
There are many things that are on my mind that I think about from time to time, most of them aggravate me, but some are just awesome. The first and foremost thing I have to complain about is Twilight. Twilight is the newest sensation among young teen girls (and sometimes older girls). The author Stephanie Meyer wrote a love story about a vampire and human, however she did not believe that what she was really doing was starting a cult. Everywhere I go, I see tons of overzealous fans, including members of my own family, who are OBSESSED with this “Edward Cullen”, and everything about the book. There were songs written by young girls, members of this twilight cult, about how Stephanie Meyer is the “vampire queen”. This would all just be borderline annoying if it was left at that, however, most of these overzealous fans try and recruit new members daily, including myself. I have probably been asked to read the book at least twenty times now, or had people say, “Why can’t you be more like Edward Cullen”. The part that aggravates me the most is probably that this author had the nerve to change hundreds of years of vampire and werewolf lore to fit her “cult” love story. When was the last time you saw a vampire GLITTER in the sun rather than burn to death? Or how about werewolves that just shape-shifted into a wolf rather than being a bloodthirsty wolf that walked on its hind legs? I will answer that question: NEVER. Twilight is probably one of the things I have the biggest distaste for in this world, surpassing even my dislike towards babies.
If there is anything else I almost dislike as much as Twilight, it’s newborn babies. They cry, they scream, they poop in their diaper, and at the same time, they seem to have this effect on women. There are certain qualities there separate men from woman, and I believe babies to be one of the finer lines. For example, if I had 100 dollars every time a woman asked me if I thought a baby was cute, I would be rich by now. I am a MAN; I do not find babies cute IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM. In my personal opinion, newborn babies look like ugly aliens. I do not want to hold them either, so do not even ask me. And it does not even matter how many times you ask me or if you try to give me “c’mon just admit he is cute for a baby”, my resolve stands true: babies are ugly and I do not like them or find them attractive in any way. I do however find babies of animals to be cute, like baby kittens, puppies, rabbits, or cute fuzzy animals, BUT NOT NEWBORN HUMAN BABIES. And thus ends my thoughts on babies, which leads to my next thought, which is about the poses people make on face book.
If you have a face book account, then you can probably understand where I am coming from when I explain this to you. Ever seen or had a friend on face book that adds about ten to twenty new pictures every single day? Or better yet, do you have a friend that is a girl that adds about ten to twenty pictures every day that ALL LOOK THE SAME. It seems to be a trend with face book, girls looking for a lot of attention, posting pictures of themselves in questionable clothing making the same facial expression in every single damned picture. This face is none other than the “kissy” face. The “kissy” face is where the girl sticks here chin out as far as she can, and makes a face as if she is protruding her lips out as if to kiss someone, usually followed by holding the peace sign with her fingers. I don’t know who thought this pose was sexy or cute at one time, but there are girls out there who just repeat this over and over and OVER AND OVER. I really do feel bad for most of these girls, because they are probably self-conscious about themselves. And with that I end my thoughts on face book, and begin my thoughts on a positive matter: my really cool friend.
My friend Cliff is a really cool guy, and that’s just about all there is to say. He is a natural badass with handlebars. You can’t even comprehend how cool this guy is, because he is extremely good at video games, especially Call of Duty modern warfare 2. There are rumors about Cliff that he is so cool and badass that he can get in trouble and then get off with very minor consequences because of how awesome he is. Everyone wants to be his friend and play video games with him so that they can only hope to learn his ways of being a master, which will never happen because no one can be better than him. Overall, Cliff is probably the coolest person you will ever meet in your entire life, and anyone would be a fool to try and surpass him. And with my final thoughts on my badass friend Cliff, I end my rant on topics for the day.